Clarity (Hate to Love You Book 1) Read online

  I glanced over at the door every minute or two, and when I did this time Callie was there. She didn’t see me until I waved. Awkwardness immediately set it. What had possessed me to wave to her? Instinct? It had been more than a year and not a word exchanged between us and here I was waving like we were besties. I regretted it, but it was too late to take it back. A sheepish smile formed on my face and out of obligation she wandered over.

  “Hey, Grace, how are you?” she asked. Her voice was tentative, her demeanor guarded and tense.

  “I’m good. You?” My voice, so over-the-top friendly, nauseated me.

  “I’m good too.”

  I stared into her green eyes and longed for our friendship. While Anita was the activist, Callie liked to have fun, laugh a lot, and most of all, she had the biggest heart. Amazingly, Eric shared almost none of those qualities with her. How could they grow up in the same home with the same parents and be so vastly different? Worse still, in Eric’s case, he pretended to have all of Callie’s qualities either because he wished he could be that way or he knew she was so well liked. Whatever the reason, he was a phony bastard.

  “Do you want to have coffee with us? Anita is on her way.”

  Callie bit down on her lower lip, struggling with what to say. Would she let me down easy, tell me where to go, or actually sit down? I wouldn’t blame her if she flipped me the bird and stormed off, but to my shock she nodded.

  “Sure, I can stay a couple of minutes. I’ll grab a coffee.”

  My heart was beating frantically. She’d given me an opening and maybe, just maybe, I could salvage something. I would have given anything to have her back in my life. To walk her dog with her in the park—I loved Bailey, and since my parents refused to let us have pets, I adopted her as my own—or to go antique or book shopping. We’d even considered opening up our own business one day. A healthy bakery and organic coffee shop. Oh, to have dreams.

  I watched her approach the barista, order a venti tea, and slowly walk back to my table. Her cheeks were a little flushed now and when she sat she kept her hands firmly wrapped around her cup.

  “Cold out there today,” she said.

  “It’s nippy.”

  The dreaded weather talk, always a safe topic but a useless one when you were trying to win back your best friend.

  “How are your parents?” she asked.

  “Good. Yours?”

  “Good.”

  “And Greg?”

  “Good.”

  “And Bailey?”

  “Getting older, but she’s keeping pretty active. We have her on special food now to keep her weight down,” Callie said, blowing on her hot tea.

  This conversation was sinking fast. Out of politeness, she might stay another minute or two before making her great escape and I had to stop her. “And Eric?” There, I asked. I didn’t want to because I didn’t care, but if I didn’t do something, she’d take off.

  Her eyes trained on my face and she fidgeted in her seat. “He’s okay. He’s been dating someone. I’m not sure it’s going to last, though. They don’t seem to have much in common.”

  I wanted to laugh. What woman could have anything in common with him? His idea of a good time was spending the entire day watching sports while his girlfriend tended to his needs. First food, then sex, in that order.

  “That’s too bad.” I wanted to add that I was sure he’d meet the right person someday, but closing the door on him might hurt my chances with Callie. I could always set her straight later.

  “Are you seeing someone?” she asked, a bite to her question.

  “No.”

  A long few seconds passed and while we were sitting at the same table, the distance between us was so great. I didn’t know what to do to bridge it. I missed talking to her at all hours of the night, our marathon shopping sessions—when I had the money to shop—and our laughing fits to the point our stomachs hurt.

  “I don’t know what happened between you and Eric, but I know he misses you. He may not admit it, but he does.”

  I let out a deep sigh. I couldn’t give her even the slightest glimmer of hope. “Callie, we drifted apart. I think we outgrew each other. I care about him, but we weren’t right together.”

  Actually, I didn’t care about him, but I wasn’t about to say that to her.

  “I don’t get it. One day the two of you were happy and the next day you dump him with no explanation. I’m sorry, but how can two people love each other and then one day decide she doesn’t anymore?” Her voice was quivering now and it occurred to me then that maybe Eric had made her take sides. Knowing him as well as I did, I could guarantee that he had forced her to end our friendship. In his eyes, if he couldn’t have me, then neither could she.

  “I didn’t just decide it one day. It had been coming for a while. I couldn’t tell you because you were his sister. It wasn’t fair to put you in the middle.”

  “Sometimes I wish the two of you had never gotten together in the first place. No chance the two of you will get back together?”

  I hated hearing the hope in her voice, especially when I slowly shook my head.

  “I have to go,” she said, rising. “I’m meeting Greg.”

  She hadn’t completely slammed the door in my face, but if my instincts were correct, as long as Eric was around, she and I were never going to be friends again. If only he would move on with his life and out of his parents’ home, only then would Callie and I have a chance. I was willing to wait it out to get her back in my life.

  CHAPTER 7

  Besides Christmas, Thanksgiving was one of the busiest times of the year at the airport, and this weekend was no different. Starting Tuesday, traffic increased steadily and by Wednesday evening the airport was a zoo. Unfortunately, this Thanksgiving, a fog had set in, delaying some flights and causing tempers to flare. I managed to keep my customers happy, but Jessica found the onslaught of passengers daunting. On more than one occasion I bailed her out of sticky situations with irate customers and their wrong drinks.

  “Thanks,” she said. “I appreciate it.”

  I was starting to like her. The more we worked together, the more we had in common, and other than her smartphone addiction, she was a pretty smart girl with aspirations of being a veterinarian. She loved to talk about her dog, Sasha, a German Shepherd and Rottie cross, along with her two cats, Molly and Theo. It was nice to know she had some substance to her.

  Having just bailed Jessica out of a cream cheese Danish disaster, I had my own catastrophe. It began with Erica and Jason on yet another coffee date. She’d gotten further with him than I did. I saw them slowly advance towards me in my line. Why couldn’t they go to Jessica’s line? The gentleman in front of them reached me and I could see the frustration of all the delays marring his face.

  “I want a large decaf with one cream.”

  I heard his order, but my focus was on Erica and Jason. She laughed at something he said and my back went up. Were they laughing at me? I absently filled the man’s order and when I handed him his cup he stared at it then looked back at me.

  “Is this decaf?” he asked.

  “Oh, no, sorry. I’ll do that again.”

  Flustered, I made my second attempt. This time he let out an exaggerated sigh. “This is a medium. I asked for a large. That is what you charged me for.”

  “Right, my mistake.”

  My third try to make his drink and this time he went crazy when I handed it to him. “Are you some kind of idiot?” he bellowed, his face flushed with fury. “I said large decaf with one cream. I didn’t think my order was that fucking complicated!”

  My mouth fell open. I didn’t know what to say. I stood there frozen and humiliated. I couldn’t bring myself to say a single word, and with Erica and Jason standing there and watching the entire spectacle I wanted to shrivel up and die.

  “Excuse me,” Jason said politely, but sharply. “Sir, is there a problem here?”

  The man turned and stared up at Jason. “She’
s a total moron. How hard is it to put together a coffee? Large decaf, one cream. This isn’t rocket science. Three times I’ve asked for it, and three times she’s gotten it wrong.”

  “Okay, let’s calm down. No need for the name calling.”

  “Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?”

  Jason’s blue eyes narrowed. “Sir, I’m going to give you three seconds to apologize to this young lady, and if you don’t, I’ll report you to airport security for abuse. They take these things seriously around here, especially when the complaint comes from a United States Customs and Border Patrol agent.”

  The man glared at me and muttered an apology.

  “I’ll get your coffee,” I said quietly. “On the house.”

  I didn’t screw it up this time and he took it from me without another word. Jason and Erica were next. The look on his face said it all. Pity. I was a pathetic mess and I wanted to cry.

  “You could at least thank him,” Erica said with a huff.

  It took every last inch of my being not to start sobbing right there and then. And Erica, with her added insult to injury. I hated her!

  “No need to thank me,” he said softly. “Large dark roast, black.”

  “And I’ll have a medium skinny latte, no foam, with unsweetened almond milk instead of regular milk. Should I write it down for you?”

  My eyes met hers, her caked-on mascara and inch-thick black eyeliner and all. A smirk crept up on her lips and it took all my strength not to leap across the counter and strangle her skinny chicken neck. But I refused to give her any satisfaction. I finished up their orders as quickly as I could and asked Cathy if I could take a short break. I went into the stockroom, shut the door, and started bawling. The humiliation had been unbearable, and then Erica . . . damn Erica! I wiped away the tears and started to feel my blood boil and bubble up in my veins. How dare she? How dare he? He could have just left it alone, but no, he had to step in like some damn hero. And that’s when I lost my mind. I don’t know how to describe the feeling other than it felt like someone else took over my body and I did nothing to stop it. I marched out of the stockroom and straight to the table Jason and Erica occupied. They stopped talking and looked up at me, Jason with his blank stare and Erica with her eyes scrunched up in confusion.

  “First of all, you should have minded your own business,” I said to Jason, my voice raised, but not quite a shriek. “I didn’t need your help, and I certainly didn’t need you to ride in like some knight in shining armor. I’m a big girl. And while I’m at it, the audacity of you bringing HER here! Are you kidding? Was there nowhere else you could take her? There are like twenty other places you could have gone in this airport. Is this your way of telling me I fucked up our date and that you are 100 percent NOT interested, because if that was your intent, I pretty much got the picture when you didn’t call me! I’m pretty astute that way.”

  And then it was Erica’s turn. “You phony, plastic, two-faced bitch! Did you not think I was embarrassed enough? Especially in front of Jason? You felt a need to humiliate me further like you’re some genius goody two-shoes? If you’re so bloody perfect, then tell me why you haven’t landed some pilot or United States Customs and Border Patrol agent yet? Could it be because you’re the airport slut? Or maybe it’s because when they see you without your fifteen layers of makeup, they can’t run away fast enough?

  “So go ahead and report me. Cathy’s right over there,” I said, pointing in some random general direction. “Tell her how horrible I’ve been to you, which I’m sure you’ll do, right, Erica? You don’t care about people like me because you’re just too good for me. So goodbye and go to hell!”

  By the time I’d finished my rant, Cathy was racing towards me. I ran past her, tears streaming down my face again. I grabbed my stuff before anyone could stop me and raced out the closest sliding airport doors.

  BY THE TIME I GOT HOME, Cathy had left me three messages. I was certain I’d lost my job, but when I listened to them, I noted some sympathy and concern in her voice. Maybe there was some way to keep my job without apologizing to Erica. I was too upset to call Cathy and went straight to my room to cry some more. Erica wouldn’t be happy until she had my job, but a little voice in my head said it was worth it.

  I finally stopped crying, although a few sniffles remained. My phone chimed a text as I blew my nose for what I hoped was the last time. Chafing from the tissues had rubbed it raw.

  Jason: You okay?

  I stared at the phone. Could I really believe what I was seeing? I triple-checked to make sure it wasn’t Janice, Jackie, or Jamie—my cousin, a classmate, or an old friend from high school.

  Me: Yes. Did she complain?

  Jason: I asked her not to.

  Me: You saved my life twice tonight.

  Jason: Sorry I upset you. Thought I was helping. Can I call you? Easier than texting.

  I didn’t answer right away. Did I want to talk to him? A feeling of dread suddenly washed over me. What if he wanted to dump me yet again? It had already been a long night. I couldn’t take much more emotional abuse. But then the other part of me was a little curious.

  Me: Okay.

  I had to make sure I didn’t sound like I’d been bawling since the second I got home. I practiced talking to myself, and when I deemed my voice almost normal, I sent the text.

  A minute later my phone trilled. I answered, my hands shaking a little.

  “Grace, I’m really sorry about this evening.” His voice was different . . . warm. I didn’t know this side to Jason and found it comforting, like I could trust him—which scared me a bit. I wanted to be mad at him, not be drawn in by him.

  “It’s okay. I only hope it didn’t cost me my job.”

  “I asked Erica not to complain, and when your boss came over, I told her it was nothing. I don’t think you’ll get fired.”

  “I really hate Erica.”

  “I figured that out pretty fast.”

  “And I’m sorry for going off on you like that.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “I had no idea I upset you that much. And about our date—”

  “Before you even go there, I’m going to stop you. I realize it was a disaster, and I don’t blame you for not calling. I was an idiot. If I were you, I wouldn’t have called me back either.”

  A long pause followed before he spoke. “The thing is, that’s not what I expected. I thought you’d be . . . different.”

  My gut reaction was to defend myself, but he’d made up his mind. My first impression had been horrendous. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

  “What if we went for coffee again? This time maybe you let me talk a little?”

  Did he say what I thought he’d just said? And did he make a joke? “Really? But aren’t you and Erica together?”

  “No,” he said with finality. “She’s been stalking me for weeks, and I can’t keep saying no all the time.”

  I smiled. “Okay, I’ll give you another chance,” I said, trying not to laugh at the irony.

  “How about Sunday night? A different coffee place this time. Let’s start with a clean slate.”

  “Sunday sounds great. I’ll come up with a place and text you the details.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  So was I.

  CHAPTER 8

  I showed up to work and Lily gave me a nod. Did she know I was about to be torn to shreds by Cathy? I passed Jessica who gave me a thumbs up. While I appreciated the gesture, I didn’t deserve praise for humiliating Erica.

  Cathy motioned for me to join her in the stockroom. I did, closing the door behind me. She pursed her lips together and shook her head.

  “I should be furious with you. Not only did you act out of character, it was completely unprofessional.”

  “I know you said you wouldn’t fire me, but I’d understand if you did.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “I’m not firing you, but I can’t have any more outbursts like that. Erica was a r
aving lunatic and if it hadn’t been for the Customs officer, she would have had your head. I know she can try all our patience, but you cannot let her taunt you like that.”

  “I don’t have an excuse for it. I should have behaved better.”

  Cathy examined me. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  She tilted her head. “Try again.”

  “It’s Jason.”

  “Who’s Jason?”

  “The Customs officer.”

  “Right, I forgot his name. What does he have to do with this? Oh, wait, is something going on between the two of you?”

  “Sort of. We went out on a date and it didn’t work out. Then he came over here with her. I flipped out because I thought they were dating. I also thought he was a big jerk for bringing her here, but then he explained that it was at Erica’s insistence. Then there was this thing with a customer, and Jason told the guy to stop being an ass. That got me mad because I can fight my own battles—this is before I knew it was Erica who dragged him here—and that’s why I went over there and freaked out.”

  “That was a long and convoluted story that I really didn’t need to know about. Just be on your best behavior from now on. If you piss Erica off one more time, I can’t save your job, and you are my best employee so I’d hate to lose you.”

  “Thank you for not firing me.”

  “Before you go,” she said as I was grabbing the handle for the door. “What happened with Jason? He sure was on your side after you left. He insisted you not be fired, and he was pretty passionate about it.”

  “I have a date with him Sunday night.”

  “You young people these days. Your mating rituals confound me. Now get back to work and don’t yell at the customers.”