Clarity (Hate to Love You Book 1) Page 6
I MUST HAVE GIVEN OFF some vibe at the Whellam Sunday dinner because while I was cleaning dishes with Sara, she asked what was going on with me.
“I have a date,” I admitted gleefully.
“Wow! The guy you were telling me about?”
I gave her the rundown as I passed her dinner plates to dry.
“I know your parents and Evan liked Eric, but I never warmed to him. I didn’t think he was right for you, so I’m glad you met someone. I hope it works out.”
“To be honest, I’ve already gone out with him once and it was a complete disaster. I was a total boob, but we’re going to try again—and this time I won’t be such a goofball.”
“Keep me posted. I love hearing good news for once. I know your mom is trying really hard with these dinners, but I don’t think Evan enjoys them much and neither does your dad.”
“He can’t keep blaming Dad.”
“I know, but I think it’s the only thing that keeps him going. While this baby will be a gift, money is going to be tight.”
“If there is anything I can help with, please let me know.”
Evan came into the kitchen, likely escaping our parents. I’ve often been told my brother is a hottie, but how can I know that? He’s my brother! He took more from Dad’s side than Mom’s. He had dark chestnut eyes like me and his dark brown hair had a hint of a wave. Just under six feet tall, he was the perfect height and kept himself in good shape. All the ladies took notice when he walked into a room, at least that’s what Sara said. I was his sister. Why would I notice these things?
“Talking about me?” he asked, placing a peck on Sara’s cheek.
“No, actually.”
“I’m going to call bullshit on that. So what’s for dessert so we can get the hell outta here?”
“Your mom hates when we eat and leave,” Sara protested.
“Maybe we should stop coming, then.”
I gave my brother a disapproving look and he stuck his tongue out at me. “Mature,” I said.
Since as long as I could remember, every single one of my friends has had a crush on Evan at one point or another. My brother could have easily dated them all, screwed around, caused trouble for me, but not once did he date one of them, not even Callie, my one friend he flirted with. She did her fair share of flirting, too. I had to respect my brother for that because all these adoring girls were easy marks.
“I was kind of serious about dessert. I want to get the hell out of here and catch the end of the Vikings game.”
It turned out that no one wanted dessert. Evan took that as his cue to grab Sara and leave. I finished cleaning up and retreated to my room for a bit of studying. I checked my phone to see if I had any messages. Secretly I was hoping to see something from Jason, but other than a few texts from Anita, there was nothing more.
JASON AND I MADE A last-minute decision to go for pizza instead at a great little hole in the wall just outside downtown. Angelo’s was the kind of pizza place that looked like a total dump but served some of the best pizza I’d ever had. The décor was circa 1980s with horrible rust-colored walls and knock-off Tiffany hanging lamps. The ripped cherry-colored vinyl seating needed replacing years ago, but no one cared.
Like our coffee date, Jason was already there flipping through the menu that hadn’t been updated since I was a kid. Each time Angelo needed to make a change to the prices, a piece of paper with the new price was taped over the old price.
“Hey, Grace,” Jason said when I sat down. His eyes flickered with life, and my heart skipped. I could not wipe off the smile plastered on my face.
“Have you been here before?” I asked, setting my jacket down next to me.
“No, but I’ll take your word for it that it’s good.”
This date already felt different. The atmosphere was light and although I’d primped again, this time my nerves didn’t have the better of me. Jason had seen me at my worst, there was nothing more I could do to top all my previous performances.
“I need to tell you something.” I said, like I was about to announce I was an alien. “I’m a vegetarian.”
“I’m a carnivore. Will that be a problem?”
He smiled and I felt giddy again, but this time it was going to stay in check. “Nope. We’ll just have to make sure your meat doesn’t touch my vegetables.”
An awkward silence followed and then we both laughed.
The server came around and took our orders. We decided to get our own pizzas so that his meat . . . Well, you get the idea. I had a feeling I was never going to live that one down.
“Okay, Jason, this time I’m going to let you talk. So, where are you from and how did you get here?”
“Chicago is where I’m from—I think I told you that, and when I applied and got the job, they sent me here.”
“I bet you would have preferred Chicago.”
“Minneapolis is a nice change of pace.”
“So what’s your history?”
“My history?” He pursed his lips as he considered what to say. “I enlisted when I was eighteen. Served in our armed forces for eight years, went to school when I could. I applied for the CBA position, and here I am.”
“Were you deployed?”
“Two tours in Afghanistan.”
My stomach sank. No good stories came from Afghanistan, at least none I’d heard. “Are you going to tell me about it, or are we going to change the topic?”
“I say we change the topic.”
“Do you miss your family?”
“I guess so.”
His answer perplexed me. There had to be a story there, but I didn’t feel comfortable pursuing it just yet. “Any siblings?”
“An older sister. How about you?”
“I have an older brother and sister. Both are out of the house, and Pam lives out in California. But I’m the one asking the questions, remember.”
He nodded. “That’s right.”
I stirred my soda, making unnecessary noise from the crashing ice. “Why did you enlist?”
“Lots of reasons.”
“That’s it? You don’t get off that easy.”
He shifted his weight and leaned back, his arms crossed over his broad chest. Normally I would find that stance intimidating, but when Jason did it, his biceps were accentuated and I had to stop myself from staring at his muscular arms. “First of all, my dad served and so did my grandfather. It’s in our blood. Second, I wanted to go to school and felt the military was a good option. Finally, it got me out of the house and away from my dad.”
Our eyes locked and I felt myself being drawn even closer to him. He was wounded in more ways than I could imagine. “Do we change the topic again?”
“No. My dad’s an asshole. I have no problem telling you that. Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t stand him. I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. I’ve told my mom to leave him, but she says she loves him. What can you do?”
“For some women it’s hard to leave.”
“Yeah, well, my dad likes to pick on people smaller than him. The last time he put his hands on me he learned real fast that I was big enough to take him on, and he was going to pay for everything he’d ever done to me. I’m a firm believer that people should take what they dish out.”
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little horrified by that statement, but at the same time a part of me sympathized with him. “Do you and your dad speak?”
“Barely. We keep it civil.”
“About your mom, I know where she’s coming from. I volunteer at a women’s shelter and I see this all the time. They love their abusers—or at least who they think those men are, and getting them to finally leave is so difficult. They worry about what they are going to do financially, how they will cope being alone, what will happen to the children, and the list goes on. If and when she’s ready, your mom will go, but not because you want her to.”
“You’re probably right. You volunteer at a shelter?”
“Looks good
on law school applications.”
“That’s the only reason?”
A feeling of unease wafted over me. “Why? Is that strange?”
“I suppose it’s not. I wouldn’t think to volunteer there, but then again, I’m a man. I’m not sure I’d be that welcomed.”
Our pizzas arrived and I was grateful that it marked a change of conversation. He acknowledged that the pizza was good, maybe as good as some of the best Chicago could offer. When we finished, the server took them away and made up doggie bags.
“What’s your story, Grace?”
“I’m graduating in April and then going to law school. Probably the U of M, but my dream is Cornell—but even if I got in, I couldn’t afford to go.”
“Loans won’t cover it?”
“Maybe, but I’d be paying them off for the rest of my life! My grandparents left me and my brother and sister money, but Cornell would eat that up in a year even if I did get student loans. At least if I go to U of M I can graduate and not be hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.”
“Wow, Cornell. That’s the big leagues.”
“Like I said, it’s only a dream.”
“Your parents can’t help you out?”
I played with the straw in my soda now that most of the ice had melted. “My parents have pretty much lost everything. The only thing they have left is the house. My grandfather had a few restaurants, and when he wanted to retire, my dad took them over—but with the economic downturn and my dad’s refusal to change the menu, update the restaurants, et cetera, he started losing money. He tried everything—even my grandfather, who was sick with cancer, was doing all he could. He’d go for chemo and then do a shift at the restaurant, but it was too late. My dad had to close one of the restaurants and within a year the other two closed. To make matters worse, my grandfather passed away a few weeks after that. Since then my dad just sulks around the house. My mom’s gone back to work part time and they are living off what my grandfather left them. If nothing else, my grandpa was a frugal man and saved every cent. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be in school right now.”
“Your dad sounds depressed.”
“He’s not doing anything about it. My mom tries, but he’s pretty out of it. My sister-in-law is pregnant, so hopefully the baby will snap him out of it.”
“You’re going to burn yourself out with all this work and school.”
“It’s a means to an end.”
“I meant to ask you about your job. Everything is ok with your boss?” he asked.
“Yes, but if it happens again, I’m a goner.”
“So Erica did complain.”
“Did you think she wouldn’t?”
“Stupidly, I did. I’m going to see your boss on Tuesday and explain the situation.”
“No, no, I don’t want you do to that. It’s over with. I think Cathy kind of admired me for what I did. As for Erica, she can kiss my ass.”
“You were right about one thing: she’s pretty fake.”
The server came around with our bill and Jason scooped it up.
“I’ll pay for mine,” I protested.
“I’ve got it,” he said, setting money down on the table. “I asked you out, remember.”
When he smiled, his eyes found life and turned a darker shade of blue. I smiled too, feeling my cheeks glow. This date was a success.
“When do you work next?” I asked.
“Tomorrow night. How about you?”
“I’m working too. I’m on from three to ten.”
“Do you get a dinner break?”
“Yes, whenever I want.”
“How about I come by around six and meet you?”
My cheeks flushed some more. “Sure, I’d like that. Let’s meet at Anthony’s.”
Life was looking up.
CHAPTER 9
Anita and I had an Environment and Politics class together. We were there a few minutes early and I told her about my pizza date and meeting Jason later at work.
“Sounds promising. He definitely likes you.”
“I kind of like him.”
“So why don’t you take him to Jackie’s party at the end of the semester?”
“What makes you think we’ll still be together by then?”
Anita grinned. “Because you like him. So when it gets closer to the date, invite him.”
I groaned. “And what if Callie’s there? And there’s a good chance Eric will be there too.”
Anita swiveled in her seat and stared me down. “I don’t think it’s right that you avoid any situation where Eric and Callie might be. That’s crazy. You’ve been doing it for a year now and enough’s enough. You are coming to that party.”
“I’ll see. I don’t want anyone to think I’m showing off.”
Anita’s face lit up like a light bulb. “I have an even better idea. What if he comes to my party before we start the spring semester? You will have dated awhile, got to know each other, and it would be a perfect time to show him off.”
“Only if you and Mike meet him before that day. I’d like him to know a few familiar faces.”
“Great idea,” Anita said, beaming. “I can’t wait to meet this guy.”
I COULDN’T WAIT TO get to work, and when I got there I skipped around counting down the minutes to my six o’clock break. I even initiated a conversation with Jessica and learned she had two older brothers and volunteered at a dog rescue in her spare time. The kid wasn’t so bad.
Six rolled around and Jason was right on time, waiting casually at the end of the counter in his fitted uniform. His coworkers must have hated him. He looked so damn good. “I’m taking my break,” I called out to Lily and Jessica. I grabbed Jason and we took a corner booth.
“Aren’t you eating?” I asked, pulling out a salad my mom had made for me. She’d even sautéed some tofu.
“I ate earlier. I’m on a twelve-hour shift. What’s the beige cubed stuff?”
“Tofu. Do you want to try?” I asked, extending my fork to him with a piece of tofu speared on the end.
He wrinkled his nose. “No, I’ll pass.”
“You’re missing out on something wonderful.”
“I doubt it. Why’d you become a vegetarian?”
“There are so many reasons, but I’ll sum it up this way. I don’t eat anything that can blink back at me.”
“Fish don’t blink.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Or anything with eyes, smarty pants.”
“I’m going to google if plants have eyes.”
“Do not!” I said, trying to paw at the phone he’d just pulled out.
“Was it hard to stop eating meat?” he asked, slipping his phone back into a pocket.
“No. I didn’t eat a lot of it to begin with. I used to miss chicken, but after a while you forget about it. There are so many great options. Maybe one day I’ll cook for you.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“The semester is over in a few weeks, I’d be happy to make you some of my specialties. It’s probably better we do it at your place. I don’t want my parents around.” I paused. Did I have to make everything sound sexual? “You know, cook at your place.”
“I know what you meant,” he said, chuckling.
I had to quickly change the subject. “Have you seen Erica lately?”
“Thankfully, no. I don’t have much to say to her.”
I ate my salad and he talked about his day inspecting shipping containers. While he spoke, I stared at his chest. His navy button-down shirt fit perfectly, revealing thick muscles that were begging to get out. While Eric had a soccer build, Jason was all football.
“Something on my shirt? Did I spill something?” he asked, inspecting the front of his uniform.
“What? No. I was just looking at your badge.” Thankfully I can think quick.
“So you want to do something this weekend? I’m off Saturday evening and don’t work again until Monday.”
I knew I should have been
studying, but I found myself saying yes. We’d make our plans later, but until then, we said our goodbyes and I went back to work. Jessica kept grinning at me.
“Why are you doing that?” I asked.
“I knew you liked him. We all knew you liked him.”
“Yeah, well, get back to work.”
I FINISHED UP MY FALL semester exams and had a much needed four-week holiday break to finish up law school applications and spend time on my burgeoning relationship with Jason. We’d been out on a few dates, but with exams to study for and papers to finish, I didn’t get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked. And other than Anita, no one else knew about him. We’d barely been dating a month; there was no need to get anyone’s hopes up, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Other than studying, when my focus was on schoolwork, all thoughts were on Jason. For the first time in a long time, I was happy and optimistic, and the prospect of finally spending an evening with him—making him dinner, no less—made me giddy.
“Hey, Mom, I was wondering if I could borrow the car today. I need to do some shopping and then I’m going out with Anita tonight. And if it’s really late, I’m going to stay over.” A girl’s got to plan for every situation while keeping her mother firmly in the dark.
Mom was in the kitchen no doubt avoiding the black mood of Dad in the living room. She had essays in front of her that she’d been marking for most of the morning and now into the afternoon. Since the last restaurant closed, she’d gone back to teaching part time with the hopes of finding something more permanent, but like Mike, she hadn’t found anything yet. Without the money my grandfather had left us all, Mom and Dad would have lost the house months ago.
“We don’t need the car today. Your brother and Sara are coming for dinner tonight instead of Sunday and I already have everything I need.”
Just the answer I wanted to hear.
My first task was to get groceries for my evening of broadening Jason’s vegetarian horizons. My second task was to make myself beautiful, which consisted of once again trying on every pair of jeans I owned. We were just hanging out at his place, but I needed to overdo it without him thinking I’d overdone it. Not a simple task. I checked my watch. It was five-thirty and I had a half hour to get to his place. Every inch of my body was perfectly groomed—which was really getting ahead of myself. I had no idea where the evening would go. Not once had Jason tried to kiss me, so I wasn’t sure why I thought this would be the night he would decide to try something more.